If you build it, they will come …

Okay so as most of you know, I have decided to change career paths.  Now yes work is work and there will always be a part of you, no matter how much you love it, that will dread days from time to time, but i’m going for it full throttle.  I just don’t see my life behind a desk any longer.  The monotony was killing my spirit.

I love being crafty and I have thoroughly enjoyed baking in my years; so I am going to tap into my entrepreneurial spirit and start a “treats” company.  “Treats” encompasses trendy, cute bits and bites.  I’m talking cupcakes, truffles, pops and cookies folks.  Completely couture and tantalizing delectables (does that even make sense … the string of words just sounded yummy together.)

In the coming posts I will document my steps and progress and I hope to be better on the photo front.  (That is another one of my goals by the way … i’m going to load this puppy with tonnes of photos) My first order of business is locking down a company name that inspires me.  I generally tend to lean toward simple, clean, modern lines so the potential name must fit into the aesthetic image/direction that I have in mind.  However, I also want something very feminine. 

Last night proved to be a very productive brainstorming session and I have mustered a few worthy options.  In the coming days I will play with some graphics and see what domain names are available for purchase.

This is an exciting step for me.  I tend to be a dreamer, but I need to start being a doer.  I can no longer wait for life to come knocking at my door or graciously fall into my lap.  I need to go out there and show myself what I am truly made of.  This part of me as been slightly dormant for awhile as my focus has been on just being a really good mom to lil’ miss C; but I think doing what I love and being happy will help me be an even better mom. 

All in all, I’m stoked. 

If any of you have any possible name/ideas for me, I’d love to hear them!

From A far …

Today, for reasons I cannot explain, I am extremely annoyed. 

I have been plagued all day with mood swings that would make a pregnant woman appear meek.  This is by no means an insult to pregnant women, but having “been there”; we can, at times, get pretty emotionally charged and feeling slightly bipolar.

In a day alone, I have succumbed to feelings of doubt, emptiness, anger, indifference and just plain blaghhh…

As I sit here this evening and ponder what could have catalyzed these feelings, I can only deduct the following possibilities:

1. I have decided to not return to my position as the head of Credit and Collection for one of the city’s major Telecom companies.  For some background on this; I left the company for maternity leave fully anticipating a strong return.  However, since I gave birth to lil’ miss C, I have had the chance to reflect on what is truly important to me; and that is, raising her and the pursuit of my own happiness.  Perhaps, it is my own issues of separation anxiety that I must deal with, but I truly believe that in this monumental time of her development, I want to be there to both facilitate and witness it.  Part of me does not want to look back and wonder where the time went or regret not having spent the time to raise her.  She is growing by leaps and bounds and I dont want to miss a moment.  I guess the “finality” of my decision and the financial repercussions have me feeling doubtful.  I feel angry that I have to choose.  Why can’t I have the best of both worlds?  This brings me to another point entirely and that is the pursuit of my own happiness and my desire to do something that I am truly passionate about.  I am quite successful at what I do, but my heart and passion are for things that are a far cry from finance.  My background is in the Arts… anything art.  I am a trained Fashion Designer and I enjoy baking, painting, sewing and writing.  I have to take this leap and hope that it is a sign of something that I am destined to do …. a door of opportunity opening while another closes.  It is all of this that scares me and drives me to question whether I am doing “the right thing.” But then again, who knows what the “right thing” is or even if there is one right thing. 
2. Today marks the birthday of someone that is very dear to me.  For very unfortunate reasons that I do not fully understand, this friend is no longer a part of my life.  Perhaps it was my “mother hen” tendencies and wanting to “fix” him that made him go away, but nonetheless I hope that one day we can look back on this as only a blip or stumbling block in our friendship.  I still hold on to a hope that we can be a part of eachother’s lives again, but for now I have to settle with loving him from a far.  (If you happen to land here, Happy Birthday Eyes … I miss you.)

So in closing, my day has been quite tumultous.  I feel spent and emotionally drained.

For now, I will attempt to remove my mind from my head and my heart from my mind and sit back in silence with my Zen infused tea (greatest green tea ever from TAZO by the way!)