I thought i’d try (operative word here) to muster up a post.
Its hard to feel when everything lately has been shit. People dying, people going missing… i just can’t deal already. All of this has made me realize some things: a. I get really affected when things are happening to the people I care about and b. life is fuckin’ short yo.
You see, I spend way too much time over analyzing, being paranoid and just being down. I get so wrapped up in the little things that I often tend to miss the bigger picture. Call it a character flaw or just plain character but its my hand and I need to figure how to deal. I mean I try to meditate, cleanse and perform that gamut of trickery that promises feelings of peace and stillness and oneness, but its a big bag of bullshit. My head is steady spinning … thinking and spinning like a wheel in a rat cage. Maybe I’m not good at it or just maybe I need more practice but I’m the kind of girl that wants things yesterday. So clearly i’m impatient. I’m also a bit of a bitter apple lately because i’m on week four of this six week cleanse and its starting to get to me. I’m craving a glass of wine like an addict and I may very well cave this week. Four weeks is good still, non? I still cannot fathom how I’ve managed to get used to that drink … nasty still?definitely! but i’ve mastered the “plug nose-throwback shot” and have worked it down to a science. That in itself is an accomplishment in my books.
And VOILA! It is suddenly becoming apparent to me how crappy and uneventful this post is but it certainly lives up to its title and is indicative of my current state … just meh
c’est la vie
pics tomorrow? maybe.
p.s.
i think about you, i think about it, ALWAYS
… a moment in time and all that it could have been
all i can think is AMAZING, you, me, us, THE NIGHT
We would fit well I bet … better than well
You can pretend all you want but I know you want it as bad as I do, if only for one night
I can promise you that you’d never want to leave
such a shame
