Dim Sum

I have nothing of great interest to spill here tonight.

So, some fluff pour toi!

My weekend went something like this:

Friday was a really long day at the office and marked the close of a hellish week at work.  Without a solid sleep for over two weeks accompanied by this damp, cold, rainy November-like weather, I was pretty hell bent on spending the night in with a book and a very grande latte.  However, after having received what seemed like a tenth call from my mother inviting me over for dinner, I caved.  I’ve been pretty emotional this past month so I felt that some time with the fam would actually do me swell.  I was longing for comfort and a sense of security; a desire to be in a place where I could just shut down and not have to think. So off I went.

At a moment in the evening, I sat there quietly taking it all in.

A table adorned with an assortment of cheeses, olives and fine wine; mother fiddling with a bottle of hot oil for garnish while yelling at pops to ensure he doesn’t burn the pizza; a double oven filled with thin crusted pizzas toppedd with bufalo mozarella, olives, thinly sliced potato and homemade proscuitto; my brother aggressively typing away at his laptop tuning in once in awhile to toss in his two cents; one voice talking louder over the other.  I stopped and smiled to myself … it was home and it still felt like it; just as if I never left.

After a great meal, a bottle of wine and a competitive game of scrabble, I called it a night.  Of course, not a night which ended in actual decent sleep but one where I finally turned in at 4:47 a.m. (great fun)

Saturday, all zombie like (from lack of sleep), I scoured the city on a mission for Miss C’s big girl bed.  King Street, Avenue, Queen, Ossington… I hit them all.  Fueled only by coffee, I successfully sourced a bed, a dresser, night table, pendant lamp, rug, chair and linens.  I must say this little girl is gonna have one hell of a room.  Seeing as though this was gonna put a very large dent in my account, I decided on adult furniture that she could grow with for a while.  In effort to simulate an ethereal haven, the colour palette I’m leaning toward is white, grey and cream with pops of fuscia. lavender and chartreuse.  Anyway, here are images of some of my picks so far:

(not sure what’s up with the mish mash of pics???)

You get the idea yes?

Obviously I could not accomplish said task with success avec spunky three year old in tow, so lil’ Miss C stayed with her grandparents.  All was dandy until I got a call notifying me of an accident.  Miss C had fallen off a chair and landed with her weight on her wrist.  She was crying for a solid twenty so I dropped and made a mad b-line for home.  Of course, the paranoiac that I am, I immediately thought to rush her to Sick Kids for an xray but there was something about the idea of an overcrowded wait room with “sick” germs floating everywhere that didn’t seem like a good solution.  I called Telehealth and they instructed me to give her tylenol and apply a cold compress to the area.  Great.  Now I have an injured, irritated and cranky three year old that won’t stop crying.  I held her the entire evening trying to comfort her the best way I could.

This morning I woke up (well I never really slept to begin with…super fab!) hoping that today would be a better day.  Not so.  I ran around town trying to collect all things Halloween to put into loot bags for Miss C’s fellow comrades.  Apparently candy is not permitted to be given out due to nut allergy precautions.  What? No candy? Sacrileges!  Alright, I dealt with it…. moving along.

I went on to sourcing pirate paraphernalia for miss C’s upcoming third birthday.  Yes you read that correctly, she wants a pirate party.  She’s obsessed with this shit.  I ransacked Michaels Art Store and Party Packagers for swords, hooks, hats, flags… you name it.  Anyway, I’m adding my own girly twist to the theme so it should be super cool.  However, I certainly have my work cut out for me this month.

I ended the day with some shopping for myself in hopes of a pick-me-up.  My loot went something like this: Ole Henricksen Cleanser, OPI Dark Room Nail Lacquer, Two pairs of pants, a stone washed denim looking spandex skirt (tres 80s), a blue shirt, a vest, a sequenced vest, a sweater/fur vest, a pencil skirt and a peach long sleeved T……. I also consumed three tall lattes.  Got home from todays adventure, in the rain I might add, only to learn that Miss C is not really using her right (injured) arm. Something is surely up…. uggghhhh

Tomorrow, wait its 2:36am …. Today will go something like this: don’t bother going to sleep, continue to search for fluff on web, go to gym, take Miss C to pediatrician, go into office to grab some things, work from home….. blah blah blah

Moral of the story: I’m fuckin’ tired.

“And so we are told this is the Golden Age…”

I know I have been away from here for awhile but it was for good reason.

I struggled to get into the spirit of things this year and went through all the motions hoping it would spark some kind of warm feeling but it just wasn’t there … well at least not at the beginning.  I spent many a nights baking, days meticulously wrapping gifts martha-stewart-esque, shopping fiendishly and blaring Christmas tunes on my laptop … but in the hustle and bustle of it all … something was missing … as obvious as a pink elephant in the room.

This past year has been quite tumultous for me.  I have toiled with feelings and thoughts that seemed so strange and uncharacteristic.  I have experienced many nights of anxiety, many months of depression and times of deepened sadness.  For a better part of 2008, I didn’t know who I was anymore.  I have been trying to deal with alot of changes in my environment and well, I just plain out could not “deal” for lack of a better word.  Christmas crept up quickly and left even quicker.  I felt like my tree was up and back in a box in a matter of 24hours.  

I did however, try to put on a brave face for lil’ miss C and it went off without a hitch like any good mother could.  Seeing her happiness and excitement for all things Christmas kind of made it all new for me (if that makes any sense) and it made bells go off inside me.  I am blessed with the most amazing little girl and nothing can ever dampen that … I realize that my love for her and my desire to give her a wonderful life filled with happiness should serve as my motivation to start looking at life a little differently.  And so my transformation began … It truly is amazing how much this little girl has changed my life and taught me life’s most important lessons.  At the end of the day, nothing else matters to me but her.  I want to feel better and be better because that is the type of mother and role model she deserves.  I’m thankful for this lesson.  I must say here that even in my worst of moments, she doesn’t really realize because I won’t let her see that side of me, but it is pretty critical that I get my life back in control before it gets to a point and she gets to an age that she starts to realize it.

Right in time for Christmas Day, I had a renewed and awakened sense of self.

Although, a terrible emptiness was present at the dinner table this year; we enjoyed a loving and warm family-infused holiday.  I realized I was with the people that mattered to me and that I mattered to; family and friends that never let me down, that encourage and support me, and that appreciate me for the person that I am.  I am eternally greatful for them.

Boxing week was spent in the company of good friends almost each night.  Movie marathons, wii face-offs, spontaneous lunches, casual dinners and the occassional glass of wine (or two … or many)! 

New Years Eve suddenly sprung and I found myself preparing a dinner for ten.  An ambundance of food,  friendship, music and good wine was exactly how we did it ..  like any good Italian would.  Midnight rolled around and we didn’t even feel it.  I raised my glass knowing in my head that this year would be different … better.  So yes, I chose to buy into the “new year, new beginnings” theory.  And although my choice of words sound pessimistic, I intend them in a way that explains my deliberate effort to make a good go at 2009.  In honor of this endeavour, I acted like the gazillion other new year’s resolutioners and bought an agenda ( a damn hot agenda too if that’s possible )  And so on the first day of the New Year, I filled its pages with promises, commitments, projects and the whole gamut of things one pens.  To be quite honest, somewhere inside of me, I got excited.  Excited that I was going to make a serious attempt at turning this ship around.

One week in, lets say, I had doubts.  But hell, not every day is going to be perfect.  I am in this predicament because I put too many expectations on myself and it only makes me feel worse when something doesn’t realize.  So I poured a glass of wine, turned on some music and collected my thoughts and I’m okay.  For the first time in a long time … i’m okay; so i’m not off to such a bad start afterall.

p.s. Merry belated Christmas to all of you.  I hope that this New Year brings you all sincere happiness, continued friendship, good health and prosperity.  I have met some wonderful and inspiring people via the world wide web … and that is pretty rad!

et pour toi … a glimpse,

In true Santa style ... her wish for a doll house was realized!

 

skim milk and chocolate chip teddy grahams ... revolutionary!

 

a couture christmas of purple and lace

 

nothing says christmas like plaid and scantilly clad

Nutshells

Its 2:05a.m and only now am I getting some down time.

Today has been ridiculous in that I didn’t stop for one minute. 

Now as I have explained earlier this week I am in the midst of an intense liver cleanse.  This detox, for the past three days, has left me unbelievably tired and weak but for some insane reason today I had a burst in energy.  I decided to take advantage of this and went to town (not literally).  I proceeded to dust my every piece of furniture, vaccuum and wash both floors and completely finish my laundry (ironing included).   I was absolutely delighted to have accomplished all this especially because I managed it along with changing, feeding, washing and playing with my lively almost-two year old.  It was quite the accomplishment.  For some background info on yours truly: I’m obsessive compulsive, I am a germaphobe, I am a nut about cleaning and having my home clutter free and I iron everything and I mean everything (socks, bedsheets..you name it).  Note: all of the above are thanks to my dear mom.  She is a clean freak and I, thankfully, have inherited them.  Having said all this, albeit a tiring day, the feeling of sitting in a clean home with my laundry all caught up is euphoric.  Sad but so very true!

And it didn’t stop there.  Added to the list was a two hour trip to the gym, some grocery shopping and baking.  I made the most delicious banana-flax bread for lil miss C to enjoy for breakfast along with three dozen chocolate cupcakes for a Breast Cancer Awareness Charity Bake Sale that is taking place this Friday.

This brings us to 2:05 am.

I have wonderful news about my dear uncle that I would love to share.  Things got terribly worse before they got better, but I am happy to report that by some miracle his blood counts came back excellent which signify that his liver is functioning.  The news made both him and all of us overjoyed.  I hope that this will give him the strength to keep the fight in him.  For those of you that sent good vibes, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

As for the cleanse, somehow I have gotten used to that gawdawful taste and can now successfully shoot back a teaspoon three times daily.  My energy seems to have gone up.  Now if only I could find a way to supress my incredible cravings for a glass of wine or a warm cup of coffee!

There it is folks, me lately in a nutshell.

Nothing compares …

to that very moment when they lay her in your arms and she looks at you, her world, for the first time

to the feeling of that warm ray spilling through the window and shining down on your face on an early dewy morning

to the pitter patter of his paws when you walk through the door after a hard day at work

to the latte and stale cigarette when you just need to get away

to the lyrics he writes that lend you hope when you feel you’ve had enough

to the way he comes in close and barely kisses you while holding your head in his hands

to the random orchid you wake up to find on your pillow “just because”

to those beautiful midnight drives blaring your favourite tunes when you need to escape

to that song on your ipod that makes your heart beat quicker and makes you run even faster

to that cozy winter night naked under a fur blanket watching your favourite movie with him

to that glass of pinot noir that helps you wind down in a candlelit bath

to those moments when you check your inbox and you see his message

to that moment when he looks in your eyes with a smile and recognizes you

to those crazy summer nights chatting on the veranda with good friends only to later realize that its 5a.m

to those words of encouragement and support that they give when you fail

to that hand you draw when I fall

These moments …

are like little pictures that remind me that nothing compares to you

not even a little

The Truest Blue …

I’m posting today not because I feel like it because truthfully I dont but I’m hoping it will help.

I tried to test drive the “look on the brighter side” mantra and it didn’t work for me.  I think this is more than a funk but rather the onset of another episode of depression.  Yay for me.  I’m not sure as to how I get here and I obviously have no control of the matter, contrary to what some asswipes may believe.  As if I would choose to feel/be this way?!   I’m thinking I should make an appointment with my doc to check this shit out.  She tried to put me on something(welbutrin) the last time and I refused … lets see what she’s got up her sleeve this time.  There’s got to be some kind of test I can take? 

For now, I will continue on my not so merry way. 

Oh yes, the long weekend …

This weekend was a crazy mix of emotions.  It’s funny how I can be laughing and happy-like one minute and then a raging, horn popping, yelling freak the next … pre-mental perhaps? or something more scientific???

Friday night we went to Jack Astors for dinner then drank wine and watched three hours of Jackass.  I fell asleep at 2am only to wake up an hour later with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen.  I figured I’d read and so I did until 6:30am … healthy? wait there’s more good stuff where this came from. (oh, I was reading Albom’s “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” and was hoping for a little chicken soup for the soul … more about this in a later post)

Saturday morning I woke up (secured a much needed latte) and on a complete whim decided to pack up lil’ miss C and head to Marineland.  I dont remember ever having been as a child so I figured this would be something special to experience with her.  And so it was.  Her excitement at seeing the dolphins leap and twirl at ridiculous heights painted a perma-smile on her for the entire day.  It was contagious in the most beautiful way. 

And straight from the depression report … admission was $40 which if not for my daughter’s reaction would have been a huge flippin rip off, the killer whale show lasted for all of five minutes, not to mention, the huge downer to see these massive mammals swimming in what seemed to be a too-little-for-their-massiveness-like tank, Oh and we got caught in a torrential storm for twenty minutes.  We then headed to Clifton Hills for some authentic wood burning oven pizza with our last stop being the Hershey Factory.  (Note to self: limitless amounts of chocolate + pre-mental = NOT A GOOD IDEA)  I had to fight the sugar crazies the whole way home.

Sunday was lax.  Lil’ Miss C kicked around at our local splash pad for an hour, we had lunch, headed to Ikea (I’m looking for a table for my sewing machine …. one potential contender found) then it was laundry and a whole bunch of housework.

Monday I went to visit a relative that is extremely ill.  Nothing could prepare me for the moment that I had dreaded for weeks now.  Seeing him took my breath away in a way that sucked life from me.  He no longer resembles the man that I once knew … the jolly, loving-life, jokester that exuded spark.  The only way I can explain it is its as if someone shut the light.  My heart breaks every time I think of him.  I’m praying for a miracle, that somehow he can find the spark again to fight the odds.  I dont want this image of him to be engraved in my mind, I want to remember how he was and I only hope that he will someday be again.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of “stuff” lately.  As much as I’d like to think of myself as this tough chick, the truth is I’m a hugely emotional softy.  I’m fighting my way back but it seems lately that I’m just sliding further down the rope.

One day at a time … that is about all I can take right now.

Here is some brightside:

There is nothing a little mint chocolate chip can't fix!

 

Or some unconditional "ernie-love"

I’m screaming sad …

Mad jam whilst listening to MG

Depression chaser

Everyone loves …

"I am de trainer of de dolphin"

 

Can you guess which is wax?

 

 A real Italian knows her pizza!

the infamous Antica Pizzeria

 

the pearly gates

Chocoholics beware!!!  temptation ahead

pre-mental survival kit must have!

 And voila!

Its 1:56am … so wierd

mornin’

Come in, the door is open …

I sat for awhile thinking about what would be worthy to blog about and then I questionned why I even cared.  A blog should be random off-shoutings of the mind not premeditated; well, at least that is what I think it should be about.

This weekend was busy.  I was busy existing and again not living in the moment.  It really sucks.

Friday I scurried in and out of stores in search of a dress for S&M’s wedding which happened to be on the following day (saturday).  So yes, I am a procrastinator to the highest degree.  I secretly crave pressure and it is in that environment that I think I excel.  I narrowed my choices down to two … a cute bcbg number with wicked pumps to match and a french connection get up.  Now let me say here that I always find a way to rationalize my purchases as not desires but needs, but strangely so, logic reigned supreme for the first time in a long time.  Seeing that this would be my last wedding of the year, I could not justify or rationalize my way into buying a dress/pumps that I knew I wouldn’t wear again.  I made due with what I had and let’s be serious here, you can never go wrong with a simple, little black number … the staple to every woman’s wardrobe.  Great!  Now I can direct my monies to more warranted fall clothing purchases.

Saturday was the wedding and it was somewhat chaotic as I was chaperoned by lil’ miss C.  Getting her organized for feedings, an adequate nap and wardrobe changes was more than I bargained for, but we managed quite successfully and surprisingly with ease.  The wedding was beautiful and it stirred up a lot of “feel-good” in what lately has become a very cynical mind.  Maybe its a fleeting moment or just maybe its a feeling that will decide to stick around, but for now I will go with the flow and che sara, sara! (“what will be, will be” for all you non-eyetalians).  Cliche-ness aside, it was a good party.  I mean it always is when the lot of us get together for some drunken dancing escapades (chillax! Before you go Brittney Spears on my ass … i had a sitter for the evening).  What most of you should know is that I have remained friends with a really great bunch of twelve since kindergarten and this twelve has extended to twenty something as some of us have either sparked up a new boyfriend, have become engaged or have been long since married.  I feel very fortunate to be surrounded with such great friendships that are so rare, yet so true.  I will try to post some pics of the affair in the coming days.

Sunday was laissez faire!  I did as much of nothing as one can do when you have a child.  So it really isn’t doing nothing, but something, just not the normal day-to-day somethings.  Comprend?

So now I sit here in the wee hours of Tuesday morning feeling the urgency for change; shift in mind and heart.  To be honest, I’m tired of blogging about being lazy and uninspired and afraid and all the negative connotations that follow.  I want an open heart, a free mind and a carefree spirit and although I cannot wakeup tomorrow (later this morning) with a platter of all three to indulge in, I will wake up with a more conscious effort to accept them if they come knocking.  I want to believe in love again, I want to believe in myself and I want to believe in life in general.  Who knows maybe breathing in life with a new perspective will take me there.  Right now at this very moment, I desire to pick up a paint brush.  I haven’t done that in awhile.  Its a bit exciting actually.  That desire and excitement that flutters in your stomach … the newness.  Yes that’s what I hope will come knocking.

Pity

I often kick myself for things that I should have done, moments where I should have reacted, things I should have said … but what good is this really.  Hindsight is 20/20 and that’s the way it has to be because if it wasn’t then I wouldnt be having this string of thought to begin with.

I have had the fortune/misfortunate depending on how you look at it of having someone come into my world recently and turning it inside out forcing me to take a deep gander into what is my life.  I find myself questionning what the hell I want and to be quite honest, I don’t have a clue.  I mean, I think I know what I want, but it changes from week to week.  I thought the self discovery bullshit would have been done by now but truthfully, I don’t think I’ve nearly come close to beginning. 

For most of my life I have always done what has been expected of me, and I have put everyone else’s feeling and problems before my own.  It has led me down a path of mediocrity and yes, my life hasn’t sucked by any means, but it has not lived up to its fullest potential.  I’m no longer happy to just be.  To simply exist is not to live.  Why am I so damned scared to live?  I shy away from risk for fear of failure, but isn’t it that leap of faith, that chance that we take regardless of the outcome, where we learn and grow in the most profound way.  And why am I programmed to do and act on the things that I feel are “the right thing to do”?  I, for once, want to be reckless and do without thinking or taking into account how people will be affected by my actions or decisions and this is not to say that I want to deliberately hurt the ones I care about, but rather a desire to live carefree if only for a short while.  I want to once again wake up with the tenacity and lust for life I once had.  The days of being naive and feeling invincible.  Those are the days I long to feel once again.  The days where stupid mistakes are chalked up as young innocent discovery phases.  Phases … got to love that word.  It was like a get out of jail free card.  “She pierced her tongue Mary, its just a phase she’s going through.” (my dad discussing my new accessory back in 1997) 

I’m 30, I have a home of my own, and I am a mother to the most precious little girl ever … BUT, I want a new phase … something to make me feel alive again, something that’s going to put a skip in my step and make my heart race a little faster.  There isn’t anything wrong with that, right?

A letter to whoever …

For so long you were someone on the other end of the world

Someone unattainable

Someone I could only hear but could never really touch

Until now

In my world you came with only a few short words

And no punctuation

Forthright and to the point

Dangling the very thing you know I wanted

Only I bailed because I was scared

Scared to face me from the inside out

Scared to learn what I could be and do so easily

Some days I feel like a monster

But on other days, I only crave it more

Its all I think about

All I dream about

All that I regret

For doing and not doing

Saying and not saying

And so here you leave me with my world turned inside out

For me to pick up the pieces and make sense of it all

You’ll never really know me

Or how you changed me

Or how much I care about you

Because you’re just another one of them

Who leave me with nothing but a pile

Just because I didn’t jump

What a shame

Such a shame

An affection so pure

An admiration so great

And you won’t ever get to know it

Because you have your head stuck up your ass

What a pity.

p.s. what is it about 1:56 a.m.?

Goodbye Blue Monday

The clock just ticked to 1:56 AM and this is the fourth night of next-to-nothing sleep.  Maybe its the late night coffees or just maybe I’m on thinker overdrive.

Today I did sweet-fanny-atom!  As you can clearly read I’m lacking in the motivation department.

Its been a week since I’ve been at the gym and I’ve been eating house with several cups of coffee consumed per day.  This can’t be good!  My blase (yes relax … insert the aigu on the e … and insert middle finger while you’re at it! I cant figure it out alright!) mood is really played out already.  Its one of those things that you know you should change because you’re only going to keep bitching about it, but yet you are too flippin lazy to do anything about it. 

 So as promised I have included for you kiddies some photographs of my escapades and moods these past two weekends all of which included lunches, wine, dinners, wine, parties, baking, beach, sulking and feeling sorry for myself … oh and wine.

My new fave colour combo

I thought shopping would help the mood … the high was very temporary.  I was indecisive about the dress, but snagged the belt at a ridiculous good price.

Bad mood a la goth.

This was Time Wasting 101 at its finest.  I was bored and the gang was taking forever to get primped and dolled.  We had dinner this night at Yonge & Egg.

Can you see the self hate in my face?  Theres more of this below.

A failed attempt at trying to love me.

You know the whole saying about loving yourself first … horseradish, its blasphemous.  Even in my self loathing, there’s one person that I love more than the air that I breathe and that’s lil’ miss C.  Its not to say that I don’t recognize the need to love me, I just don’t think that I am ready for that kind of lovin.

Here are some random pics taken on the way to dinner.

Check out the mass of garbage that Toronto can produce in one sitting.  Impressed or what?

wtf? uh... heard of recycle much?

This sweet ride reminded me of Little Miss Sunshine.  I’d love to steal it, paint it white with pink and fuscia and sell cupcakes out of it.

cupcake mobile

 And how ingenious is this?  Selling the bastard’s clothes! brilliant.

The next day I went shopping again and found this gem.  I want the orange one for my pad.

One of my fave bloggers (www.raymitheminx.com) is going to rip into me for the hair, but I was way too LAZY to pimp it.  Loved this tank paired with the varsity cardi but couldn’t justify the dollar.  I will most probably change my mind and go back for them cuz that’s how I roll (usually).

We had lunch at Jack Astors and I, of course, caved and had the chicken fajitas and a pomegranite margarita slushy thingy… it was aiight.

This past Sunday I decided to get away and take the long awaited trip North to Tiny.  This is the view from my folks’ cottage.

Le Beach

This guy was serenading a couple on the beach.  They had a table set up with food and wine, but he sucked the bag big time …  god help him if this was the bastard’s attempt at a proposal.  A mariachi band would have been a sure in.

These two occupied prime sand castle building real estate.  Totally must have sucked back way too much vino cuz they were in this position for the entire three hours that we were there … ah, sweet drunk love.

All hope was not lost … we found another spot

Cast aways … well not really, its my brother and his girlfriend.

Token party shot from Anna’s dirty 30 at Ultra.

We were on the patio all night … gotta love the humid hair, hence the quick fix sorta up do.

Oh and straight from the desk of the insomniac cupcake whore …

Lest us not forget the two dozen cupcakes that I was commissioned to make for a bachelorette party.

corset cake

So there you have it.  Probably the longest post you’ll ever see here. 

A rambling of thoughts as you can plainly see which are perfectly in sync with my mood and thought patterns over the last two weeks.  With everything that’s been happening, it all feels like kind of a blur.  Going through the motions, but not really being present in mind.

This is all starting to frighten me as I feel myself slipping into that place that I so easily go to.  I wake up each day hoping that somehow this time will be different.  That just maybe I will realize in time to do something before it spirals.  We’ll soon see I guess.

Goodbye blue monday … until tomorrow.

To The First Man I Have Ever Loved

My weekend has been by far a hectic one.

Friday I headed to Port Credit Memorial Park for the Mississauga Waterfront Festival to see my one and only MG.  Unfortunately due to a lightning storm (which I was lucky enough to be stuck in … oddly beautiful sight by the way), the concert was cancelled.  The venue was beautiful.  Being by the water beneath starlight hearing the very music that heals me was something I was looking forward to; however, I have another chance to experience this warmth at the end of August as I will be attending another MG show at the Jackson Triggs Estate Winery.  (oh and enjoying an infamous Jamie Kennedy dinner!)

Saturday I hosted a bbq lunch for RS’s birthday/Father’s Day.  The day’s fare included typical grill .. burgers (veggie and meat) and dogs along with salad, rice balls and potato wedges.  Plenty of beer and mixed vodka drinks were equally enjoyed.  The day was topped off with iced espresso granita and my signature mocha almond fudge ice cream cake.  Good times were had all around.  Later on in the evening, I kicked it with some old friends in whopville for DM’s 30th birthday.

Sunday morning I woke up with the sun at 6am (after turning in at 3am).  As exhausted as I was, I successfully made it to the bakery in time to secure THE warmest and freshest egg bread to make my stuffed french toast which was the “feature” item for my father’s day breakfast.  The menu read as follows: nutella and banana stuffed french toast, scrambled eggs and bacon, fresh strawberries, freshly squeezed juice (orange, pinapple and passion fruit) along with cafe latte.  All around goodness! Then it was off to Kleinburg Golf Club for a game of golf.  The day was smoldering but relaxing.  In the evening, with lil’ miss C in tow, I headed to LC’s 30th birthday pool party (but I didn’t last very long here…. sleep was calling me bad).

Needless to say, I’m cooked.  I have gone non stop all weekend long and today I did nothing but wallow the entire day.  Too tired and too stuffed to workout.  Tomorrow will be a new day altogether.  I will be back to the grind and off to the track.  I will be embarking on a new journey to find inner peace and happiness in my life.  Things have been topsy turvy for me lately and now I am ready to take the bull by the horns.  I will start on a “clean eating” regiment, a daily dose of exercise/yoga/pilates, meditation, reading, writing, baking and photography… and being the best darn mom eva!!!

For the real inspiration of this post … my daddy.

The first man to have had my heart.

No one has ever loved me or supported me like my dad.  He is the reason that I am the woman I am today.

He has taught me to love wholly and be honest with both myself and others.  He has taught me to respect equally and be true to my character.  Above all, he has taught me what it means to sacrifice for the ones you love and how family comes first.

Dad, today is father’s day, but know that I honour you in my heart every minute I breathe.  Thank you for loving me like no other.  You have always made me feel like the most important person in your world and I love you from the very depths of my heart.  I will always be your biggest fan.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy.  I love You.

All kinds of yumminess …

Okay, its Sunday night and I have just finished dipping and decorating what seemed like at least 250 truffles! 

I decided to experiment this weekend and I successfully came up with decadent red velvet chocolate truffles.  They looked and smelled ridiculously amazing, but here’s the kicker … my naturopath suspects that I may have a wheat/gluten allergy (yay for me) which equalled NO CHOCOLATE.  I am very annoyed ….. blargghhh

This weekend was another busy one.  Friday night my friends and I hit up Tatoo Rock Parlour  (and yes you CAN get drunk and inked all at the same time!) and it turned out to be a pretty decent night.  I both overdrank and overdanced … and of course, I paid for it on Saturday.  Oh and the humidity on friday night was ridiculous and nasty.  Spending the night in the shower seemed like a golden idea!

Saturday woke up pretty early (considering the previous night’s antics) and with lil’ miss C in tow, we spent the day in Yorkville.  We enjoyed lunch on the patio at Dimmi’s and spent the afteroon wandering through William Sonoma and Pusateri’s.  I came out with a loot of great finds which included a candy thermometer, an oven thermometer (because i’m convinced my oven is out to get me), some really neat cookie cutters and chocolate covered sunflower seeds in the most brilliant of colours.  I also forgot to mention that somewhere in between there, a refreshing probiotic frozen yogurt was acquired; also of which I could not enjoy (possible allergy to wheat/gluten/dairy ….  nice…. thanks!)  To top it all off, Saturday’s humidex made it seem like Dante’s inferno.   SHOWER SHOWER SHOWER

Sunday included an early morning workout, a stroll through ikea (here I found some really sleek looking cannisters for my countertop) then home for lunch.  After lunch, it was back out to Vaughan Mills, our-sorry-excuse-for-a-mall-kind-of.  I snagged a very cute little lounging sweater (a hot pairing with short shorts and gladiators).  From here on was dinner, some playtime, bath and bed (for lil’ miss C).  This allowed me the opportunity for test-kitchen time.  I baked, rolled, dipped and decorated … and VOILA! that was my weekend.

I will add pics to this post once I have the opportunity to cool down FROM ANOTHER CHOKINGLY HUMID day and once I create little truffle trays to give to the neighbours (i’m the best neighbour one can ever have …. hahaha)

Oh I forgot … some other post-worthy news! I have decided on a company name and have recently purchased a domain.  Stay tuned for its debut in the coming weeks.

Goodnight.

I’m off to … well, take a guess …