I dream in purple

I find myself (far too often), struggling to figure out what time it is or what day of the week we are in. 

It is so crazy to live life not by the time that reads in neon green on the microwave but by the light that shines in through the window, or the routine predicted to me by two year old or by the million times Ernie has to take care of business.  Hell, my life used to be dictated by a wrist watch.  I always had to be in fifteen places at once … a steady rush that made me crave for a life of stillness … watchless

And here I am now yearning for the rush again.

One day bleeds into the next and it only serves to remind me how time slips through my fingers far too quickly.

I know where I want to be and where I need to be but somehow i’m stuck at “start”.

A lack of motivation so debilitating. 

It never used to be this way.  

In my life I’ve always had a vision, a target and I worked hard and stopped at nothing until I got there but lately I feel like that damn bullseye is moving at a pace that makes my eyes blur.

Its all fuzzy lately. 

What I want is simple …

…a purple crayon with which to paint myself a sun.